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Full Circle

I was raised in a Christian household and went to church every Sunday morning. My religion became more about tradition and "it's just what you are supposed to do". In college I began to find my way outside of the guidance of my mom and close family members. I struggled with continuing my Religious practices because I never developed a spiritual relationship with my Christian Faith. It took me until I graduated from my undergraduate degree and moved back home that I began to have a hunger for a spiritual connection. During this time I was mislead in so many areas of my life and involved in so many unhealthy relationships with people.

Don't get me wrong, life was great! I had multiple great jobs doing what I love to do, my finances were stable, and I was reaching many personal and career goals. Then I started hitting a losing streak. My health was declining, I found myself having financial troubles, I was becoming more and more unhappy. So naturally I began to disconnect from everything. I kept getting opportunities to move and explore other skills that I had developed over the years but I wanted to hang on to the hope that everything would turn around and be great again. Then COVID hit. Like really hit. And the little that was doing well in my life was put on pause. Like everyone else, I panicked. Little did I know the next 2 months would challenge every part of me.

On May 8th I had my first spiritual encounter with God. This day began normal. It was my little brother's birthday and after visiting him I received a package from an administrator at one of my jobs showing me appreciation for all that I do. Now remember I had just told you that I was going through a lot and was disconnecting myself from everything. I rarely held casual conversations with people and I kept to myself a lot. That gift struct an emotional nerve in me. No matter how much I wanted to bury myself and hide from my problems God was letting me know that he still sees me. So I got on a bible study call. I was attending these calls for a while but I never turned my camera on, never came off mute, rarely typed in the chat box. On this particular day I did all of the above. I started off just turning my camera on. Showing myself since I obviously was not good at hiding. The call was going and next thing I know I found myself crying. Now I am a very emotional person so crying for me was not out the normal. Allowing people to see me cry WAS very out the normal. Then BOOM I came off mute. I started explaining my revelation.

No surprise to me, I was going through another failed attempt at dating and I had rewatched the sermon from when that relationship was starting. The pastor was talking about putting your trust in God and if you sacrifice through giving then God will bless you. Now every pastor references giving tithes and offering and sowing seeds into the church so I'm going to be honest I wasn't really moved at the time. But the scripture that he referenced was Malachi 3:6-10. This was the first time that I had came across this scripture and read it with my own eyes and the word "ROB" really stuck with me. I began to look at this scripture in terms of being obedient to God. Every time that I disobey God or withhold something from him I am robbing him of his glory. So during my encounter, all of this is coming out and I am explaining how disconnecting from people and not spreading love and positivity is robbing God because I am not showing the light that he has placed inside of me. Who would know that my rebirth would occur at that exact moment. The next 3 months were so fulfilling and I was forever changed.

Then the real work began. My old life was coming back into normalcy and now I am struggling to completely let go of old habits in the same environment. So of course I lean back into God and I am questioning everything. What am I doing wrong, what signs am I missing. Then on January 17th MY pastor preaches bout robbing God through not fulfilling your purposed potential. This time the reference was Matthew 5:16. This scripture mentions letting your light shine through reaching your potential. Now this literally came the morning after I had reconnected with an old friend and I was trying to explain that I am not the same person that I was in High School. At the time I was a little annoyed that all he could see was little teenage Kyn but it hit me. People will only see what you allow them to see and that I will only know what I have potential to become unless I manifest it and reach it for others to then see what I am capable of becoming. Now nothing in that conversation was negative and it was a great catch up but as I completed my studies after church on this good MLK weekend I ran into the scripture of Ephesians 3:20-21. "His Power That Is At Work Within Us".

God is doing a work WITHIN ME! The visions that he has blessed me with, only I can see. The things that he has shown me, nobody else knows about. Yes there may be some people that he will place in my path that can share these things with me to direct me and encourage me. But ultimately nobody will be able to understand who I can be and what I am capable of doing without me showing them through reaching my potential. If I want somebody to see me as a world renown athletic trainer, I have to be that person. If I want somebody to see me as a powerful dancer and choreographer, I have to dance with others more and show my choreography. If I want somebody to see me as a life partner, I have to make myself available and open up to people for them to get to know me.

Allow God to Work Within You. I promise you it will all be worth it!